Receiving New information: The Difficulties of Adoption Internationally as an Expat

I have begun inquiring about different options, as far as agencies go, about us getting a home study. I received an email from one of them. Apparently there will be a “new law going into effect next summer…” Essentially this law will require every international adoption to be through a Hague Accredited agency which, by the way, is very expensive. There are extra fees including one for just being a Hague accredited agency ($500). Oh, and just because we live in China does not mean it exempts us from this at all. Apparently if you live in any Hague accredited country (which both USA and China are), you must use a Hague accredited agency.

                Now I must confess something. Lately, I have been feeling very uneasy and nervous about us pursuing adoption. I have just been questioning if we’re even going to be able to jump through all the hoops we need to in order to adopt. We don’t make that much money in terms of USD, our home is full of sharp corners, stairs and a frightening height from our balcony (11 floors) It’s crazy though, even though this law has made it more difficult and more expensive, it has really confirmed our decision and desire to adopt. I don’t know how it will work out, we might even have to move to another apartment and work more to make more money, but everything will be fine.

From: Stringoffaith.blogspot.com

At Bible study Wednesday, we talked about Hannah and how she prayed for Samuel. She begged and begged for years but our merciful and loving God kept telling her “not yet.” Our Bible study leader, Angela talked about how it was so confusing to think about. Why would the God who promised her ancestor Abraham long ago that he would multiply his offspring to the amount of the sand on the beach, the stars in the sky, and yet close her womb? It must have felt awful and she must have felt heartbroken a time or two. I really was right there too, why would God close her womb, why make her wait?? I didn’t understand. When Angela hit the point and the realization set in I was blown away. If Samuel had been born into any other time, he wouldn’t have been the man God needed to fit His perfect will. He wouldn’t have been promised to the temple, he wouldn’t have been the prophet to turn hearts back towards the God of Israel. It is just amazing to me. It blew me away. God’s timing has never made so much sense to me! My parents have always said things like, “Look at that car accident! If we had left five minutes earlier, that could have been us,” but honestly it never sunk in quite like it did on Wednesday. It never felt so real, so close, and so very personal.  I’ve begged David for a baby since the moment we were married, and he’s not felt ready for it yet. I’ve never felt the pain of infertility or miscarriages, and I don’t pretend to, but what I do claim is that I have had to wait for something I know I was designed for. I haven’t waited very patiently so far, but I honestly feel peace in the waiting right now. When we made the decision to adopt months ago, I felt like I could pluck a child right out of an orphanage right in that moment and I would be incandescently happy. While I’m sure I would have been happy, it feels so much better knowing that I’m in the middle of his plan, and right now that plan involves waiting. We’re not going to stop trying to adopt ASAP, but if it doesn’t happen in the next year, or even five, I know I can be happy in the midst of the waiting.

Here is the website that details the new law UAA: http://adoption.state.gov/adoption_process/faqs/uaa_2012.php

At the Heart of Things

~Our Heart~

Since David and I have come to the decision to adopt our first child, I have done nothing but research. I have bought books on my kindle and spent hours reading online about international adoption. Even though I feel like I have already done all this work, I still feel miles away from where I want to be... with my kid, in my home as a family. We have decided to pursue adoption from Poland because of the book "The Ultimate Guide to Almost Free International Adoptions" by Victoria & John Skelly. Apparently they have made abortions illegal there and as a result, there is a flux of abandoned babies and babies put up for adoption. Our hope is to adopt a little boy or girl (David's hoping girl) from ages 2-4. We are currently in the inquiry stages with adoption agencies for a home study for expats, and have not found any that are super promising. We hope to have a child in arms in the next two years. The name of this blog is significant because if we adopt a boy, we hope to incorporate the name Burgan or Willow into the child's name somehow, and if they're young enough, replace their old name with one of our choices.

~Awareness at Church~
Today in church a short blurb about David and I wanting to pursue adoption was published in our weekly “Lift” pamphlet. Thank you Melissa for that, it was super sweet to think of us and to get the word out there! If you’re reading this blog, you’re one of the few that already knew about our want to adopt. It’s not that we’ve been keeping it a secret, but we haven’t really made any progress quite yet. I haven’t gotten a lot of feedback from many people about my fundraising ideas, and quite honestly, we can’t begin until we fund raise. It’s kind of a horrible cycle, we don’t want to get everyone’s hopes up and help back us in this new adventure, only to find we’re not eligible, and will fail a home study, or it will SEVERAL years before we can really put our plan into action. BUT on the other hand, we can’t really know until we have a home study (which right now we cannot afford on our own). This article allowed some people in the church who did not previously know about our adoption desire a way to help; buy a hemp creation! I hope to send some hemp creations home and also I hope to get some people from home involved to help as well (mom and Erika, I’m looking at you two! *clears throat* wedding *clears throat*). In the meantime I’m hoping beyond hope that people here will pay a ridiculous amount of money for China goods (my necklaces = $10 = 50-60 RMB) and help us get closer to having a home study done.

~Fundraising~

Honestly, it’s a bit stressful to think about at times. Because things are so cheap here, everyone is used to paying super cheap for goods, which makes fundraising very difficult. I’ve seen it with other charitable fundraisers, and experienced being the donor in those situations. It’s hard to donate 100RMB for a meal that you don’t feel is worth it, unless the cause is that good. Let’s hope our cause is that good! Something I kinda hate to admit: adoptions are expensive, and there is no way we will be able to adopt on our own with our own savings. I want to say this now though, I’m not asking for straight up donations, I want to earn what I receive. I have a special folder just to keep our adoption funds in, and it’s been what I’ve saved or earned through my hemp work. If you would like to donate, great, but I want to give you SOMETHING in return! I have a few ideas, but I would like some input too. What is something I could give you, even you in the USA. What could possibly ever be enough to give you for help bringing our baby home? I was tossing around a quilt piece, I brought one here that I had been working on in college, incomplete. Would you be interested in buying a piece, and writing your name on it, the finished piece being our baby’s first blanket? Would you like to have a Spaghetti dinner, and pay for a plate. Would you be interested in a dessert auction? What else could I do? I really do want input and help with the planning. Any advice would be appreciated at this point. Again, thanks so much for your support and prayers. We pray often for our little one (David prays for a little girl!) to be loved where they are now, to know that we’re coming for them and for their safety and well-being.

~Danae~