The 3 Options as of Now

Right now we're in the middle of an intense waiting session.

We've run into an issue with our visa type getting a background check in the land we live (I'm avoiding saying the name so I'm not flagged -- it's stupid here sometimes and you never know what will be the THING that sets things in motion). Anyways... we have to declare residency and wait 6 months for a background check according to the local police station. The problem with this is that we've already had most of our home study done. This is literally the last thing we need before we send our home study report in to be approved. It's so frustrating. Our home study social worker is working on finding out exactly what we need and how to get it. We're praying about our options and would love it if you joined us in prayer over this decision.

Right now we have three options:
1. Wait until we can adopt. This might mean starting our home study process over in 6 months. We're also a little worried about the initial fee at our agency "expiring." (we were supposed to have our dossier finished within a year of the initial fee - and we haven't even finished the home study which is the precursor to the dossier). This might also mean waiting until we have a visa type that allows us to get background checks easily - we don't know when this would be available to us. Our school is working on it, but they've been working on it for a while to no avail.

2. Foster a local child. We would go into this realizing that we would not be able to adopt any child from here until we are both 30 (at least 4 years unless they change their law). I'm pretty sure we could do that part. The really tough part is that we would not be able to travel with the child outside of the country. This would mean that we have to find childcare every 60 days (another visa thing) or anytime we went to the USA or anywhere else for that matter. We would be committing to stay in country for the foreseeable future. This would also be almost immediate - no prep time, just thrown into parenting. There is also the issue that we both teach all day, so it would be afternoon and night, and weekends. Right now we also tutor a bunch on Saturday and some on Tuesday night. Most couples get the understanding from others that they've just had a "newborn" and there is some help in the adjustment. While I know I would thrive being a mom, I don't know that David's ready this instant to change his entire lifestyle on a dime.

3. Start trying to have children biologically. As I have mentioned before, we're not infertile that we know of, so this is still an option. This would be the easiest. But we also don't feel like this is God's call for our lives at the moment. I do feel that if this was the option we chose that I would get involved in some sort of orphan care ministry. There is a specific one that helps parents take care of their child, preventing abandonment in the first place. I would love to be the hands and feet of other organizations helping with orphan care as well, so I think this could be a valid option.

We're still waiting to hear, but I'll update as soon as I know. There is much to consider and at the front of that decision is God's will for our lives. Pray that His will becomes clear for us and that we are not(especially I am not) clouded by impatience or selfishness.

Silent Auction Fundraisers ~What I would and wouldn't do again

It's been a while since I organized the Silent Fundraiser we had for our Home Study and adoption expenses. I've wanted to write about what we did to make it happen for a while and I hope to give you some resources to make your function (if you ever need to have one) successful. I did a bunch of research leading up to the event, but nothing really dug in deep and explained, gave resources and advice all in once place. This will be my attempt to do that!

The first thing that I did was look up the kinds of baskets I could make. I found tons of themes and cute ideas. There were some that I wished I could do, but didn't have the money to make it happen. The number one thing we did to make this a complete success was asking for help from friends and family. They stepped in and donated, showed up, invited other people and bought some stuff too! Here are some of the baskets I ended up with:

Different Theme of Legos

A Basket Full of Legos

Box of Books with a Reading Buddy

Dog Themed 

Starbucks Themed

Spa Themed

Camping & Fishing Theme with Antique Baskets

Family Theme with Chinese New Year Ram

Local Coffee Place "The Corner Perk"

Puzzles Theme

Donated by Local Business "Nour-ish"

Baby Boy Read & Cuddle Theme

Disney Books Read & Cuddle Theme

Farm Read & Cuddle Theme

Baby Read & Cuddle Theme

Christian Children's Books Theme

Woman's Relaxation Theme

Mani/Pedi Kit

Fall Themed Basket

Life by the Sea Theme

Beauty Basket

Antique Ducks in an Antique Basket

Helicopter and Games

Donated Metal Art

Donated Bone China from Treasures of Hope Dongguan, China

Donated Bracelet from "Artware"

You'll probably notice looking through these pictures that I had quite a lot of children's books. While I'm sure you could ask for donations from friends and family, I actually had heard of something called Books By the Foot. They are used books and they box them up and send them to you. Now, not all the books I got were in good condition, but I got a box of roughly 100 books for $25 (though, when I checked today they were on sale for $19!). My husband, sister and I had to sort through them and decide which ones to keep and which to toss. There were one or two I kept for myself or my niece, but I tried to let most of them go.

The second thing I did was look for things that were "like new" being sold. I confess, I got a good bit of what I had in there at Goodwill or other thrift stores. Almost all the baskets came from thrift stores, including that antique one that helped those ducks sell for around $400! A basket I got for $2 and ducks my dad found in an abandoned house! Now, I must confess that my family has a slight problem with hoarding, so finding things that were "like new" was not hard for me. My mom buys stuff all the time on sale and it never gets used. This really paid off for the silent auction when my parents donated things to bring their grandbabies home!

The third thing I did was keep an eye out for deals. If something was on sale and would look nice in a basket, I bought it and saved it. We were able to buy things at a cheaper price and therefore could actually make money from it. I also built a lot around what I already had. That camping basket was built around two sleeping bags David and I had bought at another silent auction, opened and never used. We included a lantern my mom had never used, some antique fishing rods my dad had (and we cleaned up), a fly fishing tackle box, and a selfie stick (which is the only thing I actually bought)... because why not?

The last thing I did was the most important. I asked for donations. I expected a lot of "no's" and got a LOT of "yes's!" I went into it with a good attitude and low expectations. I gave everyone I asked a flyer for the silent auction and invited them to come. Even if they couldn't donate, they could come look around! But most people were very willing to donate! Telling small businesses we were adopting and explaining why was enough for most people. I tried to refer people to our blog as much as possible so if they wanted to check on anything they could. My husband's father is a pastor at a church and there are many people that were willing to donate from their businesses. We also knew quite a few people ourselves, neighbors, friends, business associates, and we asked everyone we knew. Some of them said no, but offered other things, some gave gift cards, some gave small items we put into other baskets, some donated entire baskets (pre-made), most of them gave so much I was astonished! I was absolutely blown away by how much kindness we received, how much people gave and how willing they were to be invested in our story of bring children home to a family.

So that's how we got together the items, but that was only the part we were selling. We put together a pasta bar dinner for donations, and were able to set out some donated desserts. The location we had it at was a church reception hall, it was perfect because we had the kitchen to do the food, tables to eat and chat, tables for the auction and even a microphone for announcements (more about this in a minute)! We were able to get it for free, but we had to make sure it was set up in between the events that were taking place there. Everything had to be cleaned up by the next morning for church. I had seen a post on Pinterest that I thought would also be cool, about another couple's silent auction that they had in their home and in their backyard. They had strung up lights, BBQ and blankets out on the lawn. The set up a speaker and microphone and made their announcements from there. I could get on-board with that!

We also had to set up the bidding sheets. This was both the easiest and hardest part of the whole ordeal. Let me tell you from experience, don't wait until the day before the auction to work on this, even if you're not done with all the baskets or items. Editing the file is way easier than having to do it all at once. I used Word to create a bidding sheet, it already had a nice template. I adjusted a few things, threw in our adoption icon and was ready to rock and roll. Here's what I ended up with:

Burgundy Willow Silent Auction Bidding Sheet

Here's some of the set up stuff I created to get you inspired! Use it if you can!

Signs for Silent Auction

Silent Auction Rules

Bidders Information Sheet

Basket Numbers

We were told by Wikihow that you should start with a minimum bid of 20% of retail. We did a lot of googling to determine what that should be and a lot of estimating. We made a slight mistake of putting a "Buy Now" price. It would have been better if we had just made it bidding - though it only caused one round of confusion, it would have caused less hurt feelings.
We also had something a little special about our silent auction, we had speeches. During the time people were shopping and bidding we had people stand up and talk. Mostly it was us talking as we had over 200 people there and couldn't possibly explain everything they wanted to know about our adoption individually. We spent time detailing our decision, why we felt called and what the steps were from here. We could tell people really enjoyed this facet of the evening as every time there was a speaker, they all came back to sit and listen, and honestly it drew a bit away from the bidding. It didn't end up being a problem because people were so generous about bidding in the first place. But I could see that it probably needed to be timed a little better than it was.

Among the speakers we had a woman whom David's family is close to, speak about her adoption. She explained how she felt being adopted and it was beautiful. None of us really knew the entire story. We also asked a woman from the church who is from Bulgaria (the country we're adopting from) to explain some of the culture and explain the need. She even set up a table to show different pieces of Bulgarian culture. It was wonderful.

One part we did not plan out very well was announcing the winners, and purchasing during the auction. It ended in people patiently waiting in a long line for us to get our acts together and get them their things! It was embarrassing! We were able to set up a way for them to use credit cards and that was really nice. My brother-in-law had the church's online tithes and donations set up to a special event. I'm sure you could also do that by setting up a few computers and a Funding site. (Ps. If you're finished with your home study I recommend using AdoptTogether it gives a tax write-off to donors). Our problem with the during-the-auction-purchasing was that we didn't have enough man-power to announce the winners of each basket, someone bringing out the basket and someone taking the money. We were told to pull the basket once the table bidding was done, and place it in the back, but now I kind of wish we had roped off or covered the table, then had someone check the winner by having the person claim it and the worker verifying it was theirs. It would have been a bit smoother.

Courage is Action Despite Fear

China is kinda a scary place. It doesn't feel like that to me most days. Most days the only thing that affects my day-to-day life is the fact that everyone around me speaks Chinese and I speak it very little. My neighbors are mostly nice, there are tons of kids everywhere, and the church is blooming in DG. We're so protected in this city that sometimes I forget how different it is in the "bigger" China. Things have been getting much better in recent years, but China hasn't changed all that much. We are so blessed to live in a city that is different; but occasionally we're affected. I can't go into details, but this week we were reminded how fragile the China/America relationship is. How easily they could just decide to kick us out.

I've heard that definition of courage a million times. I've heard it explained and yet never fully understood. I've shared with you some fears David and I have about parenting, but this is a little more immediate. Many people ask us how our adoption is going. If we're being honest, at the moment, we're frozen in fear. It's easy to say that you would do anything to bring your kids home to you. It's a lot harder when you are climbing up a treacherous hill and reach an impasse that you literally have to step out in faith. There's a 50/50 chance of how it will turn out once we take this step. We're kinda freaking out and would love some extra prayer about it.

In this time of fear, God has been so gracious to remind us over and over that He makes the decisions, we just have to say "yes." He's reminded us that he holds the hearts of kings (and Chinese government officials) and turns then anyway he chooses. He's reminded us that it is His battle and I just need to bring what I have, He'll do the rest. He's been so faithful throughout this entire process, we know this is just one detail, but it's a scary one. If it goes poorly we could have to start the entire adoption process over again, in possibly another country. We could have problems with our visas, we could get flagged and have difficulty from now on coming and going in China or we could even get kicked out of China entirely. Every devotion I've done lately, every verse I've read, every study I've attended has been a reminder that if we follow His direction, He will make a way.
(Side note: I've been reading a book called "One. Impossible Starts Here" and it's amazing. Check it out if you need a reminder to follow God's will, not just your own comfort!)

We have a little bit of a wait until we're even able to make this leap of faith, but we're also on a deadline. We're getting nervous that we might run out of time on our initial fee with our adoption agency. We're getting nervous that we're taking too long to finish our home study and we might have to do another (more expenses...). We don't want people to think we're being irresponsible, or that we've gotten cold feet and we're running the other direction. We're all in. We're just not sure about the timing. Trust me, I'm chaffing at the wait. I'm trying not to, but I still long to give baths, brush hair & teeth, tuck into bed, play games, cuddle, and feed my own children. This longing hasn't faded. We're doing all we can, but this is too big for us alone. We need God.

"I'll never leave you or forsake you" Hebrews 13:5
"You lead me and guide me because of Your name" Ps. 31:3
"I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you hope and a future" Jer. 29:11
"I will instruct you and teach you the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you" Ps. 32:8
"As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD" Josh. 24:15

How it went - The Home Study

I'm gonna try a new style of writing today, let me know if you like it.

It was a beautiful day, so let me start there. It was cloudy and overcast, but not with pollution as it is so often in our city of DG. We haven't had rain our entire rainy season, so seeing those clouds was a
happy occasion. We got up extra early and did a quick sweep through of our house. Put away bed mats (we were sleeping on the floor downstairs because the air-conditioning upstairs was broken), put on clothes that were carefully laid out the night before, do hair, make-up, run outside and walk the dog.

Once all the little things we knew we needed to do where done, we made sure everything looked nice one final time before heading out the door. We still needed to catch a taxi, a bus would not do on a day like today. Buses save money, but not time, and time is what we were needing to save. We flagged down a taxi much quicker than we were expecting and we were on our way to Dynatown Mall where we were going to meet up with Eric. Eric is high up in a factory about 20 minutes away from the downtown area. He has a personal driver and he had offered to let us use this luxury for today.

We pulled up to the mall and paid the taxi driver. We got out, hoping Starbucks would be open at 6:30 am. In China, it doesn't open until 7:15, so we were out of luck. We went to McDonald's instead. I got what I everything that I can eat from McDonald's; eggs, a hash-brown and a coffee. David got whatever he wanted; an egg McMuffin, a biscuit and a milk. We also ordered food for our driver and Eric. They arrived soon after we got the food and we were heading over to Eric's factory in no time. Our driver needed to eat once we got to the factory, so he took 10 minutes to do that and we took a tour of the place. Eric's factory makes lamps for hotels. It was a really cool experience.

We got our GPS ready to go to Guangzhou airport and we were off. It took about an hour and a half to drive all the way there. We spent that time reading our adoption education book, "The Connected Child" and talking, all the while trying to keep ourselves from becoming over-anxious and over-stressed.

When we finally got there, we communicated (in horrible Chinese) to the driver that we wanted him to stay nearby and we would be back soon. We found the gate which our social worker would be arriving. We decided to scrawl her name on a piece of paper, just in case we didn't recognize her.
We took turns visiting the restroom and spent the time pacing back and forth still talking and joking, trying to ease the nerves.

Some people started filing around the exit corner and into the waiting area. An elderly couple, a family, lots of single Chinese people. Finally, the only person who was foreign enough to be her turned the airport exit corner. It was easier than we thought to recognize her, and we called out her name. We said hello and it all began.

We got in the car and drove back to Dongguan. Our nerves were quickly calmed as we began to just talk. At first we were still feeling the pressure to present ourselves in a positive light, but as we got to know her and she got to know us, we were much more comfortable. I offered her a snack I had packed which led to a conversation about nutrition. We talked for some time about the importance of nutrition when adopting. The fact that I had packed Gluten free pretzels, a Soyjoy and some water boded well for us! David even took the opportunity to brag on me for my dietary and nutrition expertise!

We talked about all kinds of things, but here are the big topics I remember; we talked about the level of support we felt we had from friends and family, our plans for discipline, how there could be issues with attachment after adoption, the special needs in a child that might arise with any international adoption, what we planned in terms of childcare, how we were planning financially, and so much more. We actually knew the answer to every question asked! We spent time talking in the car, in our living room and while eating lunch at a Chinese restaurant down the road from us.

She met Aubie and Luna and they were on their best behavior. She loved them! She said "I knew I would like you when I read about how your greatest accomplishment was saving your kitten." I felt a kind of kindred spirit thing going on with her. First on the topic of nutrition and now with animals!

She looked around at safety features in our house and pointed out some things we might improve on. The best thing she said all day was "I don't need to check every little safety feature, because I know you will love your children more than I do and will want to protect them more than I would."
Honestly, it made me feel capable.

There weren't many concerns for safety about our house, except the balconies. Our social worker suggested either getting some sort of lock for everywhere connecting to a balcony or these wire nets I often see around the community. David and I are looking into that now and we will see what we can find and afford. She gave us advise on the process, told us what it would entail to get official approval for the home study and offered help for certain parts of the process.

After that we took her out to get some stuffed toys for her kids, gave her a Kombucha scobi to take home with her, then drove back with her to the airport. By the time we got back home, we were exhausted. It was 7 or 8 at night and all we could do was feel proud and sit on the couch and watch tv until it was an acceptable time to go to bed.

Overall, it was a really good day. The best part about it was after all our talking she said, "I'm going to approve you for 2 kids up to age 7," which is exactly what we wanted to hear. Verbal approval. We were so excited!

Now what's next? We've been approved for two kids by our social worker, but we still have some paperwork to finish, send in, get approved, cleared and so on. We are currently sending in Child Abuse Clearance paperwork for SC and TN. David is also working on completing his adoption education so he can earn his certificate. After that our completed home study document will be sent in to the Central Authority in the US and hopefully approved without investigation (think IRS checking on validity of taxes, but with adoption paperwork). If they ask for proof of something we only have a short period of time to respond with the needed paperwork. If we fail to comply there are consequences, such as having to re-do the whole home study.  We are praying that they will not ask for proof. By the time mail found its way to us, we would only have a few days to comply because of being in China and the reliability of mail here.

If we can sail smoothly through the home study approval, our next step is to attain all the paperwork we need for our dossier. If you want to know more about what is included in a dossier check out what our agency says here.

Belonging

It occurred to me today that everyone wants to belong, but also, there is something terrifying about it. The idea of belonging to a group is desirable, but often times we change who we are to fit into that group. For instance, I HATE reality TV. It grates on my nerves, because I can't stand to watch other people make bad decisions, or be forced into decisions that are unlikely reflections of their true feelings. Anyway, when I first moved to China I had a difficult time making friends. They people in our community of foreigners were nice enough, but we just had very little in common. It was so lonely though, that I started watching shows I couldn't stand just so I would have something to talk about with them for the 20 minutes I saw them after work. It wasn't a true connection, but I needed to belong to something bigger than me.

I was thinking about this in terms of our adoption and how the kids might feel when they come to their forever home. Will they feel a sense of belonging just by having a mommy and daddy? Or will it take more work than that? Will they every have a sense of belonging with us, or will this be a life-long question and insecurity for them?

It could turn out perfectly, imagine with me:
A seven year old girl and a four year old brother and sister walk into our apartment. We show them their rooms and they are over the moon excited! They pull out every toy we picked out for them, they look at the bed that is now theirs and snuggle into it playfully and lovingly. We introduce them to their new fur-babies Aubie and Luna and they are immediately taken with them. They spend the next twenty minutes throwing the ball for Aubie and petting Luna. When it's time for dinner they are so happy to be part of a family that they spend the entire time just looking at us while we all eat. We practice our Bulgarian and try to teach them some English. After dinner we spend some time playing together as a little family, and then we get ready for bed. They are unfamiliar with the routine of brushing their teeth and getting into pajamas that are just for them, but they are eager and want to learn. David and I take turns reading to them, then tuck them in and just stroke their heads for a while. They doze off and if they wake up they come and cuddle with us until they fall off to sleep again. That is the ideal sense of belonging. Immediate and wonderful.

Now the other way it could turn out is this:
Upon entering the new environment of our apartment, they stare at everything with a mixed sense of wonder and fear. They gaze at the things, but either are not excited by them or completely disengaged and they cannot fathom the things being theirs. They wander around the house and eventually start crying. When they meet the animals, they're afraid of Aubie and Luna and we have to ask our friends to watch them another night so the kids have time to adjust. They throw fits, they hate to be touched and they cannot stop crying. They rock back and forth constantly and cannot be calmed. At night, they keep trying to get away from us. They won't eat the food we make for them and no other snacks seem to please them either. We decide to try bedtime, and they don't know what brushing teeth is and it freaks them out. So much so they throw another fit. They kick and hit and cry when we put them on their bed. They refuse to let us touch them and we have no idea what to do to help them feel at ease. We decide to turn on some white noise, a nightlight and say goodnight. We worry about them all throughout the night because we can hear them crying.

Now I don't think that either of these cases will happen. We will probably have a mixture of both, somewhere in between the two extremes. I have heard adoption can be one of these extremes though. Wouldn't it be lovely to have the first extreme? We are prepared to deal with the second extreme (as much as we can anyway). We hope that if they have difficulty finding belonging in our family group, that in time we can earn their trust and enforce certain rules long enough that it becomes routine. I know that even biological children can have problems with their sense of belonging in their families.

A sense of belonging has always been something David and I have struggled with personally. Not in our family, but with groups of friends. I hope we can relate enough to be patient and loving unconditionally. I hope that everything will work out. I have big dreams for the future. Hopefully, eventually, they will find a sense of belonging with us in our family.

At the Age of 25

This post was in my head in February. With the Silent Auction and then the home study, I never had time to finish this one.

So many thoughts and so little time to write them all down! I have had it in my head to write an awesome post about turning twenty-five. As some of you know, the biggest reason we've waited until now to start the adoption process is because we were told that both of us needed to be 25, and at the time, I was 23. I was heart broken. It was hard to realize that God was making us wait to put us in a better circumstance, in so many ways. Once we realized the wait was going to be a blessing, we decided to make the most of it and prepare ourselves as much as we could, financially, emotionally, and physically (as far as our apartment is concerned). We moved, bought furniture, began hitting our student loans as hard as we can, and overall just started building our home into a place we could welcome children in easily.

I sat at the Russian Philharmonic Saturday night and thought of all the philosophical thoughts my brain could handle and realized that without the conductor, the individual instruments probably still sounded good, maybe even great, but with the conductor leading and molding the musicians into his vision for their gifts, the sound is indescribable! Even mistakes can be covered by the beautiful sounds of the orchestrated plan of the conductor.What I'm trying to say is that God puts us in a place where we can not only use our gifts, but contribute and uplift others while we're at it. The body of Christ never made more sense to me than when I was sitting there listening to that music. Understanding that we can put everything we can into our part, and we're going to make mistakes along the way, but God will perfect it. Using other musicians to correct us, using other instruments to support us. As long as we play our part to the best of our ability, God can make good out of it.

As long as we play our part. It breaks my heart that there are so many people out there that are not playing their parts. Making excuses for why they don't have a ministry (that was me for a LONG time). I know that not everyone is called to adopt. That is David and my ministry right now. BUT there are many people who are called, and they say "later." They answer "my finances aren't good right now" "I have too many problems myself" "I'll have my own kids first and then think about adopting later." I've heard and made all the excuses myself. David and I really struggled with the fact that we live in CHINA and wouldn't have all the ease of adopting as traditional Americans would, either from foster care or abroad. We struggled with the fact that we still have SO much debt from college. We struggled with the fact that we are still so young. If you feel called and something is holding you back, ANYTHING, please ask someone about it. Express your doubts. I can guarantee that there is something that can be done. What it boiled down to for us, despite all the possible advantages and strategies we could use to make this happen, was that what if God said "it's too costly" "I don't have time for that right now" "I'd rather just have my own kids, then think about having more later"? Where would that leave us? We would still be orphans.

The Definition of a Sibling Group

I was talking to some friends about our plans to adopt, describing all the things we have to do, what we want and why and I thought I was speaking in a way that people could understand. Apparently not! I've been immersed in the adoption process for two three years now, even though we're just getting started on the actual "bring-them-home-process." I've done a ton of research and read a ton of books and talked to several other adoptive families. I've been following our agency's website for about a year and reading ALL of the articles they publish that are even vaguely related to our adoption process. I don't say all of this to brag, but merely to help you understand that when I say things like "sibling group" or "dossier (doss-ee-ay)" I'm not trying to confuse you or belittle in any way! I have only forgotten that people in every day life don't use these words!

Here are a few I have been using and their meanings (some even their meanings to us!):

• Dossier - a collection of paperwork needed to send to the country in order to be matched with a child. Usually consists of Marriage licence, birth certificates, financial information, health statements, letters of recommendation, police records, state records, and child abuse clearance.
• Sibling group - a group of children from one family. For us that means 2-3 children, and David's preference is that we have two girls or a boy and a girl. (Yes, I know the options consist of 2's for David!) I really don't mind, I just don't want ONLY boys! I don't think I could handle that all at once!
• Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption: The Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption is a multilateral treaty designed to apply to all international adoptions between countries that ratify it. Developed under the Hague Conference on Private International Law, the Convention is the result of a five-year process involving participants from 66 prospective member countries. This makes international adoption safer for both the kids and the parents. Making it so that 
• Birth Mother - this is a term, obviously used to describe the woman that carried the kids in her own body and then gave them up for some reason or another. I only mention this term to say that this is the appropriate term used, and she should never be called their "real mom." The only other term that is acceptable here is "biological" parent, but this is slightly less acceptable in the adoption world. Rule of thumb, don't mention this in front of adoptive children, if you must ask, wait until the adoptive parents are alone that way you don't risk saying something that might hurt the child.
• Most of the other words are government institutions such as Department of Justice, which is responsible for approving the adoption, the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services), which I bet you can guess what part they play. 
• If there are any other terms I have used that were difficult to understand, please message me, or comment. I would love to update, but need some feedback!

Thanks for reading!

Summer TIME

Well, it is officially summer for us, and boy do I have time! I cannot remember a summer in the history of my life were I have had nothing to do at all but catch up and get things done! I've almost always worked, and at least part of the summer was some sort of vacation and traveling. This summer I have my in-laws coming for two weeks and we're traveling in China and that's it! I can't believe how much raw TIME I have. For those of you who really know me, you know that I like sleep. I like sleep a little too much.... In fact, if I don't have a reason to get out of bed, I might not until 4pm! Well, I have decided that this summer I will not do that to myself. I always feel horrible when I oversleep and then I am unproductive, then I get depressed because I'm unproductive, and downward we spiral until the summer is over and I have nothing to show for it. So far I've done fairly well at keeping a schedule, and haven't slept past 10am. WOW! I'm kinda proud of me right now! haha!

So with having so much time, I've decided to be as productive as possible. I made a list on my vanity mirror so I can remind myself that I have things I want to do, things like: journal, read, organize, plan vacations, etc. One of the things on my list is blog. So the next two weeks I'm going to do my best to blog! I have started several posts in the last couple of months and didn't have time to complete them and publish them so that they could be read. They might be a little out-dated, but it will be my way of catching up. I'm also working on my adoption education course I'm required to take, so I might give a little run down on that and why it is required.

For this post I'll give a short summary of what has happened in the last 2 months for our adoption and what will be coming up. First of all, we did have our home study, it went well (detailed post to come), and we have have a draft of the document almost ready. We've been working on our adoption education which is 10 hours of Hague education, a couple of videos and reading "the Connected
Child." We're waiting to complete our home study  because we have to send in and get back our Child Abuse Clearances and complete the education. Once that is complete we have to wait for confirmation from the USCIS to say that our home study is accepted and then we can begin working on our dossier. We may have to get bio-metric fingerprinting done, so we might have to go to Bangkok, Thailand - impromptu vacation? Darn!  Then once we submit all the paper in our dossier to Bulgaria we begin the wait to be matched with our children, OR we can start looking on the waiting
children's list and find our children; whichever comes first!

So for the next week (or two) I will be posting every day! So tune in tomorrow!

Home Study Part 2

The past few weeks have been a roller coaster for David and I. First we had ACSI at our school to see if we were ready for accreditation. Then we were told we would have our home study the next week - eight days in advance of it happening. We went into a mad-dash of getting ready; everything from organizing the house, to paperwork we had been trying to get together, to adoption education work we thought we still had "plenty of time" to complete.

While it was hard to hear that it was cancelled, it turned out to be a major blessing. We had been procrastinating too many things and it gave us a kick in the pants to get moving. We have been working hard since to get things ready, both for the home study and to become parents. We are required by our agency to read a book called "The Connected Child" and it has given us so much insight into what we are approaching with raising our kids. There are some really great techniques taught that show how to handle discipline without yelling or spanking (for those of you wondering, we will NOT be spanking. There are too many kids who have been abused to some extent, that any kind of discipline in that way would be detrimental. Having Psychology background we tend to agree).

This past week, I've been in a sort of frenzy. Getting ready and feeling the need to prepare. I ran out of big things to do in the house Tuesday, which has been a major de-stresser for me, so I just started getting stressed. I have had several stress induced nightmares so I decided to go for a run to relieve some stress. I feel so much better now! Sore, but less stressed! The one great thing about all the stress I was feeling extremely productive! It was really great eustress!

On top of getting ready for stuff, our AC in our upstairs is not working due to the fuse box blowing every time we even try to engage the switch connected to them... We haven't had AC in days, and this far south in China, it's been a little miserable. We moved some bed-mats downstairs and have been sleeping on the floor in the living room. Our landlord has been trying to help us, and we've had a repair man in our house almost every day this week. We'll see if we can get everything in order by the home study.

Be in prayer about our home study if you would. Pray for the words to speak and answers to give. Pray we don't explode from stress and for reassurance that we're following God's plan.

I was reading a lady who adopted from Bulgaria today and in her blog she said "we adopted not to be hero's, but because of fear. Fear of standing before our God if we had chosen to leave our child behind." I want to leave you on that note, because we are not saviors or heroes, but rather acting out of the fear of God.

April 2015 Update

I've been working on several posts, one on belonging, one on turning 25, I have one in my brain for how to (and how NOT to do) a silent auction. But today I have something waaaaay more nerve wracking and exciting! It's not going to be a long post, but I HAVE to tell you!

Our home study will most likely be next week!

My to-do list is a mile long, I'm asking favors left and right, but I know this will happen! I know this will work out! I don't know why it's happening so abruptly, but I can't wait for this story to start unfolding!

Short and sweet, I know, but I have so much to do that it wouldn't be smart to spend too much time writing a blog when I need to be preparing! I'll try to update after it's over.

Thanks for reading!

Silent Auction - Update!!

It's taken me a while to get this update on here! Mostly because of how crazy busy we got in the last several days we were home (including a meeting with a newspaper reporter!) and then, of course, jet-lag from flying all the way across the world. Honestly, I'm writing this in very, very short bursts, because I've been so tired! Finally feeling better now and laying off the Marathon of "New Girl," at least for most of the day! (sorry for the rabbit trails - further evidence of the jet-lagging!)

Well, we're very excited to announce...

Drum Roll, please...

We raised over $8,000!!!

The silent auction was a HUGE success! We had about 100 people show up, we sold almost every basket and item (!) and had tons of gracious donations! Thank you to everyone that came and showed us such amazing support of our adoption! We are so blown away by the sweet, thoughtful donations, both of items for the auction and monetary. We want to say thank so so much!

Our goal was $4,000, just enough to get us through the home study, and honestly, we weren't sure if we'd be able to raise that much in just ten days of being home! We were told by several people that they thought it wouldn't work out the way we thought it would. That maybe we should lower our expectations. And that maybe people wouldn't be interested in buying the themed baskets we put together. But I have to say, I'm really proud of how it ended up turning out and while there are things I would change, there are definitely things that I would do again! (Post to come later about that!)

We don't have many pictures, because everyone involved was pretty... well... involved! We were so busy during the event that it felt like it all passed in about 15 minutes! Here are the few pictures we have from the event:

Apparently, I left my SD card at my mom's house... so pictures will be updated later! Sorry friends!

Oh, last thing! We had an article written about us in the Bluffton Sun/Hilton Head Sun! Here's the link: We're on the March 3 issue, page 8/9!!! Eeeeekkk! So excited!

Silent Auction Information

Hi everyone! Getting this Silent Auction stuff together and it's about all we can do to throw this together, despite my planning it for the past two months! We even had quite a hiccup when we made posters to advertise for it and accidentally wrote our blog address with only one "r" making it d-cars.blogspot instead of d-carrs.blogspot. David was trying to get that domain name too and link it back to this blog, but turns out that address was already taken! And by someone that IF they had actually posted anything we might be in trouble! Thankfully they have not! Whew!

We'll be having the Silent Auction Saturday, February 21st. 6:00-8:00 pm (but could go later depending) at Central Church on Hilton Head Island. Here's the address just in case you plan on plugging it into a GPS:
975 William Hilton Pkwy, Hilton Head Island, SC 29928

We're going to have a Pasta Bar, Cake, and drinks. And we'll have themed Baskets! Oh, so many baskets! We've had a lot of great donations! Here are some sneak peek pictures of all the great baskets and items we'll have available!