Done with 2014, onto 2015

Bloglovin LinkI hope everyone had a great Christmas! As we're getting closer to the end of 2014, it's easy for my mind to drift to what might be next year. This year was GREAT for David and me. We're working at terrific jobs that we're finally able to understand what we're doing and what our goals are. We have wonderful students, co-teachers, and grade level peeps. Our bosses have to be the best in the world, but seriously. We have friends teaching at the school that plan to stay for some time. We also started our adoption process and got that ball rolling. There is just so much to be thankful for.

This coming year holds so many hopes and dreams for our little Carr family. So I would like to spend some time sharing here what some of those are, both to satisfy curiosity and for a measure of accountability. We, of course, have the cliche goals like, lose weight, drink more water, exercise - and honestly some of these are remarkably similar to last year's resolutions. Last year, I met several of my goals! I've started exercising more, and I gotta give a shout out to Jillian Michaels and her kick-butt programs, I love/hate her! I've drank more water than any year prior, ate healthier choices and lost about 10-15 pounds of weight! (it's hard to know exactly because we didn't get a scale until summer time).

There were some goals that just weren't as realistic as I thought at the time or that we worked hard to achieve, but just didn't happen - things like, travel more of China, pay off 3 school loans (we did 2!), and some others that are so ridiculous I'm a little embarrassed to them post here!

So for this year, when I consider what is coming up I will have some things that are for my personal betterment, but most of my resolutions will be about us becoming a little bigger of a family. So here they are:

1. Get a home study completed before summer starts.
2. Put on at least one super-successful fundraiser for our adoption.
3. Accumulate toys and books that would be appropriate no matter what the age of our kids.
4. Read 3-4 parenting books.
5. Read 3-4 adoption oriented books.
6. Apply for as many grants as humanly possible.
7. Keep all adoption paperwork extremely organized.
8. Start debt snowball and ATTACK! (thanks Dave Ramsay for the saving know-how!)
9. Read 2-3 books about being a better teacher.
10. Get fit - not necessarily lose weight, but be healthier.
11. Do devotions more diligently (maybe She Reads Truth - any other suggestions let me know!)
12. Blog every week (if you have any ideas for topics PLEASE let me know!)
13. Take pictures at least once a week - and keep learning more about the beautiful camera I got for Christmas!
14. Love on kids at Haven of Hope twice a week (at least) Find out more about this great program that helps special needs orphans by clicking here. 
15. Paint the house.
16. Travel somewhere fun (but cheap, maybe Bali?).
17. Cook more at home, and healthier foods.
18. Keep learning Chinese, and pick up some basic Bulgarian.
19. Complain less, encourage more.
20. Bring our kids home - now I know that this may not happen this year, but let's face it, how many of our goals do we actually achieve in our own little time-frame? I see no reason not to be optimistic. God showed us that this is His calling for us right now, so until he says otherwise, we're running full speed towards that goal.

I hope you enjoyed reading my list of goals and can help keep me accountable to achieve (and maybe even help achieve some!). I hope many of your goals are met this year and that this New Year brings more joy to your life. Happy New Year!

Baby, All I Want For Christmas is You

When David and I were talking turkey about presents for Christmas this year, I was able to come up with quite a list of things. Of course, David did too. Then a day or so later we got the next step of our adoption process outlined for us, and everything about what I wanted changed. I still want that awesome new camera, but all my reasons are adoption oriented! We did some Christmas shopping and I couldn't help but buy a couple kids toys to store for the future. I was thinking it might be really cool if we start buying small toys, wrapping them, and then when we finally bring our kids home they can open them all. It might be fun to be able to start our new relationship with something as cool as opening presents! What kid doesn't like opening presents?

Now, there are new things on my list. Things like: I want to complete this paperwork as quickly as possible, I want to make appointments for while we are home in February, I want to get those t-shirts made, I want to set up some fundraisers, I want to find my home study provider, and many other seemingly boring things. All these things add up to the thing that I really want for Christmas, my kids. I have been praying for them a lot. I've been thinking about them all the time. Christmas is a time for family and David and I are so ready for our own little family to grow. For now I'm happy with our family that consists of David, me, a pretty puppy, and a crazy cute kitten, but soon I want so much more. So this year, the song "All I Want for Christmas is You" has a whole new meaning for me and every time I hear it, it fills my heart with longing.

Click here to listen to it. :)

I hope my babies are safe and happy this year. I can't wait to spend every holiday with them soon. Hope your holidays are fantastic! Merry Christmas!

Parenting - Great Expectations & Feelings

Sometimes, when things don't move as fast as I thought, I lose hope. Please tell me you have been there too, that I'm not the only one! To you, as a third party to our adoption, it may seem that things have been moving at a pretty good pace - one thing happening after another. To me, this whole becoming a parent thing is taking forever. And when something takes forever, I start to over-analyze. Unfortunately, I am also a researcher at heart and tend to look up as much information as possible with whatever is on hand. What is on hand right now is the internet; and people's blogs; and people's stories of adoption; and people's horror stories.

Now, I do tend to be the kind of person that believes that all things work together for good, and so I am confident it will all work out well. I do realize there will be some difficulties, and have never been under the delusion that any kind of parenting would be easy. However, when I read some of these stories, I feel seriously discouraged. I feel like it might be too hard.

All these stories are not helping my current emotional feelings of incompetence. Lately, I've felt so stressed out with work, having a semblance of a social life, and trying to keep my house in order that I've come to question whether I can even be a working mom. I've talked it over with David, and we've decided that as soon as possible (aka when our contract allows me to) I will go down to either part time or not working with some tutoring jobs. The more I think about it, the better the plan seems. I took a sick day today because I had a huge headache and was feeling flat out awful from my cold. I was able to sleep, get good medicine, eat decent food and altogether rest. Not only was I able to finally rest, but I also had a chance to catch up on some things that have fallen behind in the chaos. I was able to straighten up and do some serious amounts of laundry. Cuddling with my babies (Aubie and Luna) was truly helpful to my mental health as well!

All of these thoughts when considering myself being a parent is leading to me feeling that maybe I'm not ready. (I need to insert here that I have not changed my mind about adoption! Just in case you were getting that vibe). It makes me feel like if I can't handle these small little responsibilities, than what will happen when I have extra little people, with bigger needs than mine, to take care of. It's kinda freaking me out a little. I have been consoling myself with the fact that it's very common for people, when they find out their going to be parents, to freak out and wonder what kind parent they will be.

Because I have been feeling uneasy about being a parent, I've decided to do the one thing I know usually makes me feel better about doing something new; pick up a million books and read about it! I've gotten tons to samples of parenting books off my Kindle, and I'll be buying a few of them as soon as I figure out which ones I like (i.e. the ones that actually teach good parenting techniques based on Psychology, and not ones that are like "I have pretty good kids, this is how I did it!" - It's crazy how many books like that there are!). I feel like maybe if I can read about good techniques, I will feel more prepared for managing my life and my children, and then will feel less uneasy about becoming a parent. Do you have any favorites that I should check out? Any advice during this period of waiting?

T-shirts!

Hey guys! We were brainstorming for our adoption fundraising and we stumbled across a new way to t-shirt fund-raise. It takes out some of the risk because it's through a website that doesn't charge unless we meet our goal of 100 t-shirts sold in 21 days. Also, it allows people to pick out the style and their size instead of me having to guess which ones to order and having left-overs. I'm so excited to present our first t-shirts! Later on we'll have a different style available, but for this month we're just going to try this one! We would really appreciate it if you would consider buying one! Consider it a Christmas gift to David and I! We're trying to raise money in time to get paper processed in February and for our home study soon after.

Click here to buy one!

So Much to be Thankful For

This year we have so much to be thankful for!

I am so thankful for God's perfect timing, above all else. David and I thought we were in the perfect apartment for our upcoming adoption. It had more rooms in it than we had currently needed and had an amazing loft and attic. We had landlords that would work with us and an agency that would get things done immediately. So when we found out that our landlords had decided to sell, we decided to find another place! It's so funny, because not two weeks earlier I was telling David that I really felt like we should look at other apartments just in case there was something out there that was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT for us. I told him that I really wanted to feel reassured that there was nothing else for us, before we received our home study.

Our landlords gave us the option to stay as long as we could be open to receiving buyers up to twice a week! This was not an option for us for several reasons. The first being that we have a delightful, anxiety-filled dog and a wonderful, rambunctious, 5 month old kitten. The second reason is that if we move after our home study and before we bring our kids home, we have to get another at our expense. The home study will most likely cost a little more than normal for us since we live in China and have to find someone that is Hague accredited, so having to do another would be extremely inconvenient.

We went on the hunt for our perfect apartment, for which we had surprisingly good attitudes! We both had a peace about it and we just really felt that God had prepared a place in advance for us.

We looked for two days (only!) and found THE ONE! It is five four bedrooms and four three bathrooms. (One room doesn't count because it's the size of a closet, and one bathroom is a Chinese toilet... haha!). Two of the rooms are really starting to come together as kids rooms, which is SUPER exciting to me! Our couches are at least 80% better in looks and comfort and we're super close to my campus of school.

We decided to go ahead and dedicate some of our funds this month to making our house our home. We took a trip to Ikea and bought some new stuff (finally!) for our place. We got some things that, honestly, just make me feel more at home and better equipped for a home study. I know that things are not what makes a home study, but there's something about finally having dishes that match each other that makes me feel like I actually have my life in order! Don't judge me too much!

Our next step in our journey is our first big payment. This fee goes towards our agency fee and the first part of our home study. It comes out to roughly $3,200. What's crazy amazing is that we have exactly the amount we need. I mean, we come within a hundred dollars of exactly. God is so, truly amazing. I need to share that this is further confirmation (like we needed any more!) that we are exactly where we need to be, doing exactly what we need to be doing. The next thing we will need is our home study fee, and we're having that after two fundraisers we're planning. If you're in Hilton Head in February (tentatively the 21st), we will be having a silent auction/dinner! If you can't make it to that, know that soon we're going to set some goals to cut/shave hair on David's head (yes, that includes his beloved beard, Dad Carr!). We're really excited and we know God will provide even if no one shows up to these fundraisers. After the home study we will be applying for every grant we even partially qualify for in the hope that it will help us receive the rest of our funding to bring our kids home.

If you have anything you would like to donate to our silent auction, you can contact my Mom Watkins, Mom Carr, my sister Erika, or me.
I can't wait to see so many of you in February!

Craziness of Life

This past month has been crazy! We were told we had to move at the end of last month, so we've been apartment searching, packing and moving. We're actually not finished moving quite yet. We're hiring some movers for the really big stuff and furniture for Saturday, we're probably paying too much, but I just really need my dryer to do a load of laundry! We also have a few things we're trying to fix around the house, like curtains falling off the rings, a hot-water heater that only sometimes lights (it's gas heated as you need it), and some minor plumbing issues.

Our school is also going through accreditation through ACSI and WASC and I'm a subcommittee head. In truth, it's not that much work, just collecting evidences, printing them and putting it in writing. However, this month we are getting our two main visitors who will let us know how we stand for accreditation in the spring. This being said, it's been a little stressful with the push to get our stuff together this month. Talk about over-committing, I'm ALSO in charge of a scholastic order which came in recently, and there was sorting, questions, and just overall, a lot. I'm not complaining, I'm just trying to explain how busy I have been lately!

All this to say, I've been busy. So busy that it's been really hard to focus on our adoption. We've now sent in our agreement with our agency and are getting ready to send in the first big fee. There's going to be a mad fundraising rush here soon as we get ready for our home study, but for now I'm going to get to Thanksgiving and catch up on my life! We're working with our agency to find a home study provider here in China, and we've had several recommendations from friends here who know people that had home study's here. I can't wait until I have more information to share with you, but for now, that's all I've got.

Last little side note, I've been really emotional and stressed lately and would really appreciate prayers for peace as we settle into our crazy lives!

Accepted!

The email came today! We've been accepted by our agency! We applied Sunday night as soon as the money we sent home was in our bank account. We were so excited!

Here's the email I received:

"Danae & David, I have reviewed, processed, and approved your application for an adoption from Bulgaria! I was excited to see that your family had filled it out – I loved having the opportunity to Skype with you over the phone a couple of weeks ago! If you choose to move forward with an adoption from Bulgaria, the next step to becoming a full client with MLJ is to submit your executed Adoption Services Agreement, signed fee sheet and initial payment according to the attached fee sheet. We will also need an original signed copy of your application. I've attached a copy to this email for you to print, sign and mail into the office. I know that you’re living abroad and sending documents internationally is a little bit more difficult. We will need original copies of your documents, but if you’re wanting to move forward quickly, you can email me scanned signed copies of the Fee Sheet and Adoption Services Agreement before you put them in the mail. We can take checks for the first payment, but we can also do a direct debit from your checking account, or charge a credit card (3% credit card fee applies, but is waived on the application payment). I do want to let you know that this application process is only an initial screening based on the limited information received. There are other approvals you will need throughout your process in order to bring a child home. These approvals come from your home study, Bulgaria, and the US State Department. The application approval is not a substitute for a home study assessment approval and does not screen for any laws specific to a state or country of residence other than Indiana. This is an initial screening and does not guarantee future approvals. Please let me know if you have any questions!"

Man I love this agency! I can't wait to begin this journey to bringing our kids home with them! Please continue to pray for our process!

Exciting, Scary Progress.

Cha-ching.
This is the thought going through David's mind this week.
So close. So real. So very.... scary.
These have been my thoughts.

We've been researching and researching, planning and saving, for almost two years now! I've found a sort of contentment in the planning, in the preparation, and even in the not having kids yet. We've worked really hard to try to figure out what we need and want to do to prepare for kids, and now it seems like the process it really going to get started.
So far, it's been a lot like a wandering walk in the park, looking at things we want to look at, discovering new things and finding things that can help us along the way. Now it seems like that relaxing, slow paced walk is over, and it's about to turn into a full sprint to the finish line. I realize the adoption process could take years to complete, but even still it's going to go quickly for us.

We had a Skype date with MLJ adoption agency's representative. It was really super encouraging, and I must say that I was dancing (and bouncing) around our house that night to the point I could hardly sleep at all! They work with expats, and they want to be super flexible with us, knowing that we live in China and that's different than if we lived in the states. Our finances, insurance and life-style looks totally different, and it was so nice to hear that it wouldn't be a problem! They showed us a list of referrals that they had received from Bulgaria in 2014, they talked about how Bulgaria is very reliable compared to some other countries and they had one more bit of news that pushed me over the edge of excitement and nervousness; with how much we are open to for our adoption, we could wait as little as three months for a referral! This comes after all the home study and paperwork stuff is taken care of, so we have at least until 2015 before any of this really comes into play. They also sent us an expense sheet, and the overall total is around what I had said before, $30-40,000.

The thing that really made this REAL for us is when we saw the costs broken down, when they were due and how much was due each time. Talk about David going crazy! He was not at all happy to find out that the money we have been saving and raising will only cover the first payment! All of which should be going to the agency within this month! That's our other piece of really big, encouraging news! I don't have to wait to get started on this process.

Now, before we were informed by a different agency that we both needed to be 25 years old. I had emailed this agency before (MLJ) and gotten a similar response, but I'm thinking they believed me to be single, because the representative informed me Tuesday night that since David is 26 and we're married, it will be ok to get started. There is a small part of me that is a little frustrated with this information since this means we really could have gotten started about a year ago. However, the bigger part of me (thankfully) is happy that David and I have had this time to become more informed, to pay off school bills and to become more financially prepared to take on the task of raising children. I think God placed this misunderstanding in our path to lead us in a better timed direction.

With all this new information comes a responsibility for us to get our butts kicked into gear to raise the money we'll need to complete our home study. Thankfully, after we have the home study completed and approved, we can apply for all sorts of adoption grants that will help cover significant amounts of the cost of international adoption. We are talking with family in HHI and Bluffton to start on some community fundraisers, one of the first is an outdoor movie night with hamburgers, hot-dogs, and apple cider. One that we'll will be doing in February is a Silent Auction/Dinner with a movie night for kids. If you have any ideas to help make these better functions, let me or any of my family members know! If you would like to donate an item (a product you or your company makes) for the Silent Auction, it would be such a blessing! I really appreciate your prayers and can't wait to see how God moves in this special area of our lives!

What if God thought this way?

I would like to talk about something that has been on my heart for a while. I had been reading about all the people who had adopted and had dealt with rude comments. I have been contemplating how I would respond to these people.

I have dealt with several comments already. Mostly people are just confused. One of David's students asked us why in the world we would do something like this. But he didn't stop there. He called us crazy for selling things to raise money. He criticized adopting children that were going to be "messed up." He topped it all with a whopper "Oh, my G--, teacher! You're not God! You can't save all the children!" We've also had people tell us that we are young, that we'll change our minds soon. That having adopted children can never come close to having your own. That adopted children are messed up and why don't we just start with our own instead. That adoption just costs too much to be really worth it, and we might as well just try to start a family of our own. Now, some of these are curiosity, some of these just aren't any of their business, but I've tried with as much grace as I can sum up in that moment to explain our call regardless.

This is what hit me in the face: What if God had thought these things? What if he thought, "You know, adoption of these people sure does cost a lot." "These people are going to be more screwed up than if I had my own kids." "I'm not going to be able to save all of them." "The process is just too hard and stressful for me." "I'll just wait and see how I feel after I start my own family."

Google Image

Wow. I have never felt so convicted to adopt as when this hit me. God's cost was so much steeper than anything I could ever pay. God deals with a lot more behavior problems than I will ever have to with adopted kids. God deals with the grief that not all of us will be saved (by choice!). God dealt and deals with a much harder process of adopting his children than I ever could.
Praise Him! He gave and gives more than I deserve and nothing I could ever do would amount to what he has done. Thank you Lord that you cared enough for us to pay that price, to deal with our loads of crap and to continue to parent me regardless of all of my flaws.

So I have to leave you with the thought that brought me here:
What if God thought they way you do about Orphans?
Thank Him that he doesn't!

A crazy life, still dreaming of adoption.

My Classroom Door

Luna - One Week Old

Wow! Life sure got crazy for us quickly! We both started new roles in our jobs as teachers, me as a first grade teacher with a whole new curriculum and David teaching with a new curriculum and a new set of ESL students. We also got to welcome an old friend to China for the first time and help him get settled in. He has been staying with us for the past month while we  try to find him an apartment. We also welcomed a friend back to China and she stayed with us for a while too! On top of all that, I found a kitten thrown away next to a garbage can, and I couldn't just leave her! David agreed to keep her until we could find her a home, but over two months later and still no luck. She was finally big enough to get her first shots today!

Our Table at Treasures! Opening Night

Our friend Amber from TLC showing support!

We did finally get our store front "Burgundy Willow" up and running, but the week it happened was so busy I had no time to keep everything updated. We didn't sell much the opening night because it was mostly the space renters there for the opening. It was a busy week for everyone in Dongguan, there was even a first birthday celebrated! We met a lot of new friends that night and made some new connections. I was told by a lot of people that my cookies were great and my stuffed animals were cute! Hopefully everything will get going full swing soon! My goal is to make a new stuffed animal every week, but I must admit that I'm not going to meet that goal this week! (and I haven't been able to do any since this summer, hopefully things will slow down soon!)

Our friend from TLC, Daniel Isaiah showing support!

Danae handing out cookies to promote the cookie mixes

David and I in front of our table

Our table updated by Melissa. Looks Great!

Updated Table

Updated Shelf

The planning is starting for fundraisers in the states, hopefully pretty soon! We will definitely be home February 14th- March 1st for Chinese New Year break. We're hoping to have our families help us put one together in the middle of our visit, go ahead and mark February 20-21 in your calendar as possible fundraising days! If you have any ideas or would like to help, let me, my mom or David's mom know!

Though our lives have been super crazy, and I haven't had much time to blog or work on fundraising, I feel like the time passing in itself is productive. We have to wait so much in this process. The very first thing we have to do, in fact, is to wait. I'm listening to a song right now "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller, and it is so encouraging to me in this time. This time is not wasted, though I would much rather have my kids NOW rather than later, I still have time to lift up my babies to my Father and I have time to prepare to be the best mother I can be for these darlings that will enter my life.

I also have been searching Pinterest for ideas about fundraising and I found another blog that listed some songs for the wait.  They're absolutely amazing and I am so moved by so many! Many of them can be applicable to just parenting, so if you have kids you might want to check a couple out! She gives a little description of each so you can kind of tell which will be applicable and which will not be. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Growing into a Storefront

I am so excited to announce a new development in our adoption fundraising! We were recently given the opportunity to rent a space in a wonderful local Dongguan store! It's called Treasures of Hope and they donate a whole lot of money to different charities in the area such as orphanages, the leper colony and others. They have made their second floor available for rent, and are giving some special treatment to charities such as ours! Another HUGE blessing is that my cousin Melissa will be sharing the space with us and therefore making rent a little cheaper every month! We discussed it and ended up choosing space number 1 because of the placement to the stairs.

The space to the right of the camera taking the picture is where our space will be!

We're at space #1.

We're hoping to get a lot of traffic through there once everything gets started since there will be so many new products from different companies. I've already started on a plan to keep the shelve filled with goods to buy, and I'm so thankful for the time this summer to get some practice in AND get lots of goods made! I know I seem a little ADD when it comes to fundraising, but it has a lot to do with feedback. I also have not stopped working on most of the ideas I have listed, but rather planning carefully and thinking of when to start really trying to sell them.
On that note....
I found a new idea I'm going to try! I found some free stuffed animal patterns on Pinterest and I have learned how to sew previously, so I'm going to try my hand at it! Here in China there is a website you can buy goods from and I bought a whole bunch of fleece fabric, a sewing machine, pillow stuffing and some fabric that looks like fur. I'm going to start with simple ones, and try to move towards the more difficult! I don't have much experience with sewing (I have sewn a quilt and a dress and made some mending on clothes) so if you have any experience making stuffed animals and you want to give me some advice, let me know! I would really appreciate it!
I love hearing from you!

The Adoption Process - Five "easy" steps

Some people have asked about what the process of adoption will look like for us. So I'm going to try to break it down (as much as I know anyway) and explain some of what we will have to do and the fees that will be required along the way.

STEP ONE: The first thing we had to do was choose a country. Now I know that seems like the easiest part, but how do you choose one over another? Aren't all the children from all the countries equally in need of families? We had to start by narrowing down ones we knew we couldn't adopt from yet. Now, at the time we were under the impression that as long as you were of age for that particular country, you could adopt with the help of an agency from the USA. When we started this it was partially true, but this summer (2014) that all changed. Because of the new Hague Convention being heavily enforced in America, we have to comply with a Hague accredited agency. This means that the pool of agencies that we were looking at got significantly smaller. It might have been fine had we lived and adopted from the US, but at this point it does affect us. The Hague convention is doing amazing things to protect the children involved in adoption, as well as adoptive parents, so I don't want to come across as if this is just a huge unnecessary obstacle I wish would be taken away. The main problems it presented us with at the time was that 1) most agencies that were Hague accredited would only accept potential parents 25 years or older, 2) it took several countries we were considering out of the equation entirely.

While I'm talking about choosing the country, I must mention a few we considered and why we decided against them. The first one was China. This was shot down almost immediately because China requires adoptive parents to be 30+ years, and have many requirements like taking the child to the country your from instead of staying in China.

The second we really wrestled with was the USA. The main problem we encountered was the lack of information of expats adopting from America. We weren't sure if we could even qualify. The other thing that led to us not pursuing information heavily was that since we were considering adopting a toddler to an older child, the adjustment might just be too much. Going to a new country with a new family that doesn't speak your language and then moving to ANOTHER country that speaks an entirely different language. Coming from an American foster system, there might even be HUGE behavioral problems created by the handing off of the child to family after family. While we believe these issues could be over come with love the requirements for expats was to sketchy and varied from State to State.

We also considered countries closer to us like South Korea, Taiwan, Philippines, etc. But they didn't pan out for different reasons.

The country we originally landed on was Poland. The reason for this was a book we had read A Guide To Almost Free International Adoption, which outlined a way to adopt without an agency. It was TONS cheaper, and we knew we had the motivation to do it on our own with just an attorney's help. However, while inquiring with an agency about a home study, we found out about the Hague convention. It was required for all international adoptions to go through an American Hague Accredited agency starting in 2014. We knew we would not be able to complete our adoption with less than a year between us and the new rule, so we decided to open our options again and pray about other countries.

After much research (which before you pry into an adoptive families reasons for NOT choosing another country, know that it is a very, very difficult decision) we decided on Bulgaria. Our reasons for Bulgaria are outlined in another blog post. See (http://d-carrs.blogspot.sg/2013/12/decision-on-which-country-bulgaria.html)
But also know that we could have chosen a number of other countries, but felt led towards Bulgaria. I can't describe it much better than that. We went over cost, location, race, ages available, why they were orphans, and facilities for orphanages. Some of our reasons might seem trivial, but like I said, it was a very difficult decision for us, and you really can't get started on the next step until you decide firmly.

STEP TWO: Choosing an agency proved harder for us than I would have thought. There was just a list on a website that told about agencies that offer adoption from Bulgaria (like I said, the country decision had to be made first, or we wouldn't have had a way to search for a good agency to help us). We had to look for a Hague accredited agency that would work with expats, provide a home study for expats OR allow another company/agency to perform the home study, be available for our time zone, and show integrity in their adoptions. We had to look at a ton of little factors too; things like Christian vs secular, location in the US, technology use, adoptions per year, and many other things.

We were between about five agencies so I emailed them all asking questions about their agency, the program for Bulgaria, and most importantly, did they work with expats! A few immediately answered that they did not work with expats, so they were crossed off the list. There was an agency that never answered back, crossed off. And then there were two. I was between two agencies that both looked great for us. I eventually had to be specific in what I wanted, be a little picky and I landed on MLJ adoption agency in Indiana.

There were several things that just really made MLJ appealing for us. The first was that they answered IMMEDIATELY every time. The second is that they had a much better website and were more liberal with the information the placed there. The third was the lady that is over our program is a Christian who has adopted herself named Lydia Tarr. And the last thing is that MLJ and Mrs. Tarr have blogs that are updated with amazing information constantly. All of that together was just reassuring.

STEP THREE: This one can look different for other adoptive families, but for us the next step is fundraising and saving money. The reason for this is that we have been working very diligently on getting out of debt, and the total cost of our adoption will be from $27,000-34,000. We have worked our way through Financial Peace University by David Ramsey, and we are on our way to being debt free, hopefully by the time we bring our kids home! We honestly struggled doing the fundraising BEFORE the home study because we didn't want to appear overeager and uninformed about how adoption really works.

We were a little afraid that people wouldn't want to help us so early in the process, knowing we hadn't completed our home study. On that note, I need to add that for if some reason we don't pass our home study and we are unable to adopt, we will donate the money raised to helping orphans in some form. We would really at that point like to try again, knowing what we had done wrong and continue our adoption plans, but we are open to just donating to another couple adopting or an organization helping orphans.

We have been saving money ourselves as part of the budget we came up with, and have selling certain things that proceeds our adoption. We have gotten some sweet gifts from family and friends as well, and there is a link on our blog and our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/AdoptingaBurgundyWillow?ref_type=bookmark). Add us and follow us to find out about upcoming fundraising events!

STEP FOUR: The first thing we are saving up for is applying to the agency and getting the home study. We don't know exactly how much this will cost as our circumstance is a little different than most other adoptive families. For most people it costs around $3,000-5,000 to get the adoption started, and $5,000 for the home study. We now have enough money to cover that first fee (at least the $3,000) and we are confident we will be able to raise the money for the home study by February/March 2015.

STEP FIVE: This step is a little fuzzy to me, but I'll try to let you know what I know about it. This is the step that we submit a dossier (said "doss-ee-ay") and later in this step, we will accept a referral of a child or sibling group. At the point the dossier is filed and we accept the referral, we have to pay anywhere from $9,000-19,000 depending on circumstances. The dossier, in short, is a file about us. It will include all the paper work that is involved in adoption. It will have the home study, our financial and employment information, our marriage license, birth certificates, medical reports, immigration approval, reference letters and an adoption education completion certificate. In all it will have anywhere from 8-15 documents included, and all of it is sent to the country we want to adopt from. Once we send the dossier, we wait.
Here's where I found the information about the dossier:
(http://www.mljadoptions.com/blog/what-is-an-adoption-dossier-20130108)

We wait for a referral for a child or sibling group. We can also check out waiting children who have special needs (being an older child or part of a sibling group counts as a special need). Once we find a child(ren) that we are interested in we can let the agency know and see if they are still available for adoption. I actually set up an account already with a website, and it lets me know when children matching our profile become available. A few weeks back they sent a picture of these little girls that nearly broke my heart to have to wait for. It was comforting to pray for a family for them though.

The wait time for a child(ren) from Bulgaria, I'm told, depends entirely on your flexibility. The more special needs you are open to, the easier time they have matching a child to you. Once we accept, it will be about four to six months until everything is processed and we can move on to my favorite step!
Here are some wait times others have had from our agency: (http://www.mljadoptions.com/blog/flexibility-key-to-shorter-wait-for-families-adopting-from-bulgaria-20140707)

STEP FIVE: Travel! Oh, how this word excites me! This will be the point that we travel to meet our children, and set up a court date to go pick them up! We'll get to meet them, ask them if we can be their mommy and daddy and they can be ours forever, see where they've been living, play with them and give them some simple gifts! We will be there approximately a week the first time, and I think this might even be part of accepting the referral. The second time will be to get everything court official and bring our kids home! At this point we will need to pay a $3,000-6,000 fee, and I'm not entirely sure if that includes our plane tickets, translator and other transportation and accommodations.


Now that I've gone through the basics of what our adoption process will look like, can you think of any questions you would like answered personally or think that I should find out? I have done a ton of research, but there is still so much information out there yet to be found! I would appreciate any input or advice as well! I love hearing from you!

Prayer

It's been hard to blog lately because there have been no BIG updates or fundraisers. I have mentioned several times in past blogs and on Facebook that I have been praying for my babies. I know that the Lord provides and I know that He is good. I also know that my parents told me throughout my childhood that they prayed for me; they prayed for who I would be, my personality and even what I would look like! I have always HEARD this, but had a hard time actually praying specific things. I kind of figured that God in His infinite wisdom would bless me with what he deemed best for David and I. It sounded a little selfish to ask for more anything more specific than that! But it occurred to me the other day, I'm not treating God like a vending machine if I am just sharing my heart and requesting good circumstances for my children.

Everyone has heard the horror stories of adoption; mostly people getting children with needs that were unexpected at the time. In my heart I just feel I need to ask; did they pray about it? Not in the after it occurred, but in the year or more leading up to the bringing their child home. Now I think sometimes God gives us unexpected issues for our own growth and well-being, but I honestly can see nothing wrong with praying love and protection over children that are already growing in a land far from me. I don't see anything wrong with praying for someone to comfort them, encourage them, mold them, introduce Jesus and love them to pieces.

So this is my prayer for my children:

Dear Heavenly Father,

You know the ache in my heart, and I thank you for putting it there. Thank-you for the beautiful children you created to love you and be loved by you. Thank-you for loving them infinitely more than I ever could. I thank-you for the opportunities you place in our lives to care for the widows, orphans and homeless during our time here on earth.

God, I pray for my little ones, wherever they are right now in this moment. I pray you bless them with someone in their lives who they can attach emotionally to, and will love them (teacher, caretaker, friend, or whomever). Please provide them with a resilient spirit that they might recover a little easier from whatever tragedy has happened that led to them being orphaned.

I pray that you fill their spirits with strength for the hardships and hope for the future. Let them know there are parents out there coming for them soon. Give them a happiness that is unexplainable that they might enjoy their childhood and look back with a sense of fondness; untainted by fear, stress, and sadness. Turn their tears into dancing, as only you know how.

Lord, most of all, show your glory. You know there is literally nothing we can do to help the children you have set aside for David and I. Show your power in this circumstance, let people see your glory throughout this entire process. Let this affect people who would never know you otherwise. May you be glorified and lifted high.

I ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Caring for the Orphans in Our Lives

 Orphans in this world are a numerous. They have so many needs. What in the world can we do to help? I began reading the book Orphanology by Tony Merida at the behest of a good friend learning about our desire to adopt. This was right after Orphan Sunday at our church here in China. David and I already had a deep longing to help orphans in whatever way we could, but we especially wanted to adopt a toddler. Did you know in America alone there are over a half-million children who are in foster care and 130 thousand of those children could be adopted right now? That is an incredible need right where you live in the USA. According to Orphans Worldwide Website the most recent estimate of orphans worldwide is 153 million. That is 153,000,000 kids without parents to love them, without diligent care. Some of them are true orphans and some are social orphans (kids whose parents cannot take care of them or don't want them). This book, Orphanology, points out that there are 225 professed Christians in America. If there are so many Christians, why are there so many uncared for orphans?

Now, I want you to know that I believe that each of you has a different calling from God, but I believe Orphan care is pointed out far too often in the Bible to claim you are exempt from any sort of help for the orphans. When I say you're not exempt I don't mean that I think each of you should adopt a child, though I do think that would be the perfect solution. What I mean is that each of you should be doing SOMETHING for the orphans in the world. That can be foster care in America, if you feel unequipped for some reason, you could always offer to help someone else who is adopting or fostering. You can also find an organization that cares for orphans and support them. Another thing you could do, if you are bold and caring enough, you could get your church to support an orphanage in a region that the children can not be adopted. That way these children can be loved on and given gifts, maybe even exchange letters with people from your church! I don't know about you, but that idea makes me excited! Being able to care for kids who might otherwise be excluded from almost everything life should hold for them!

There are also programs for types of orphans you can choose to support, with money, gifts and letters. They have orphanages just for the disabled children who need extra care, some are even specific to the kind of disability. There is one right here where I live called Haven of Hope for disabled Chinese babies who don't receive the medical attention they should at government facilities. You can check them out at www.havenofhope.com to see about sponsoring one of the children there. We support a little girl named Helen. There's also a local program in our area called Sunshine Academy that offers school for kids in the orphanage that wouldn't normally be able to go to school. They have a summer program we are trying to volunteer at, which is something that most people are not permitted to do. We're trying to get involved with that for the part of July we will be in Dongguan. If there are TWO English programs here in China, I'm sure there is something you can get involved with in your very own backyard. Look for it! If there is not anything there yet, be the change you want to see!

Most of the ways I have listed so far involve some sort of money, but many people feel that they don't have enough money to make it through a month, let alone support someone else financially. What can those people do? There's a whole list! The number one is prayer, but don't just pray, let the person know you're praying for them! If you can include it in a letter of encouragement! Tell the person/people know you stand beside them and offer to help in any physical way. If you have a talent, offer to use that talent as a fundraiser; i.e. if you are a photographer, offer to hold a photo-shoot fundraiser. If you own a business have a proceed day where people who buy things from you and you donate 10% (good advertising for you too!) Overall, the easiest, free thing you can do is be supportive and pray. Be there, be encouraging, offer time and volunteer your time.

I hope this moved you to go out there and care for orphans in whatever capacity you can! Follow God's call to care for the widows and orphans out there however you can! Love them, support others who are actively loving! God bless!

Thoughts from Mother's Day

It took me a while to write about this topic, so I'm sorry that it's a few weeks late. Mother's day was a little tough. Not for the reasons you might suspect, but being so far away from my wonderful mom and my sister who is having a baby soon. I realized that living here in China I may never get to feel my sister's swollen belly. I'm also not going to get to help her set up, or go shopping with her. I can send things I buy online to her, sure, but that isn't everything I want to give her! I want to help with the baby shower and sew a baby blanket for her. I also want to hang out and feel the baby kick. These things make me miss home. I wish I could have gone camping with them for my mom's birthday a few weeks ago. I wish I could sit on the porch swing and talk with her, telling her about thoughts and dreams we have. I wish I could tell her, face-to-face, all about the adoption plans and obstacles. I wish I could brainstorm with her, weigh pros and cons.

These things and the thoughts about my future family were enough to avoid going to church. Now I realize that this may offend some, but I honestly could not make myself go to church on Mother's day. I would leave more depressed than encouraged and I knew exactly how that church service would go anyway. Now I'm not saying that celebrating Mother's Day is a bad idea, but really just hard for me at this point in my life. Sometimes a little extra private Bible study is better than a church service; not always mind you, but for some situations I feel church is more of a hindrance to my spiritual walk than a help. I knew this church service would involve lady's who are mothers being asked to stand and be recognized. This would count mother's whose babies are grown, new mothers, mothers who are in the middle of child-rearing and altogether ladies who have children. This was highly uncomfortable for me because of the fact that I so long to be a momma. My little sister having a baby before I have any children is a little, well, depressing. I also feel that most churches fail to recognize the mommas who have lost babies or suffer infertility. I have wanted to have a baby since I've been engaged. I wanted to start a family as soon as we were married. God and David had other plans. This has been a difficult and fantastic change. I chafed for years that I was not allowed to follow my plans. For periods of time I felt like a baby was the key to my happiness. I felt like the only way I could really begin to enjoy my life was having a baby and starting into motherhood. I wanted to design my baby's room and see my husband hold it and love it. I thought this would complete my world and my marriage.

It's funny how desires, even entirely pure ones, can be in exact opposition to what God plans for our lives. He had my husband remain strong in insistence that we should wait, that we were not yet ready. Through my tears and pleads and depressions, David was able to comfort me and give me hope, but not give in to my wants. So I waited, mostly unhappily. Eventually, through a Bible study started this school year, I was able to see that God sometimes holds off our wants for something better. I may not be infertile, but I have definitely waited, painfully for children. I know that God has done everything according to his purpose, and I have seen that plainly in my life. It is crazy how God turned my heart from the desire to have a baby, to have a child. From having a child to having children. God was not only working on my heart during this time, but also David's heart. He previously had been opposed to the idea of adoption or having a child at the time at all. He grew more and more open as time passed, and he was the one who heard about a sibling group and felt so completely at peace. 

When we talked about Bulgaria, the biggest reason we came to the decision was we felt peace. When we thought and prayed about other countries there was a tension, an indecision. There were just so many options! So many countries with babies that needed a family! How could we ever choose?! But when we found Bulgaria and the need for families to adopt sibling groups, we just knew that this is what we should do. This is where we should go to start our family. We know that sometimes God point us into a direction only to turn us when we think we're just about to our destination. We know that he may change us into something new and unexpected. We're just excited to begin our part of serving the orphans we were called to care for.  

Put Your Hope Where Your Heart Is

SO. BLOWN. AWAY.

This is the only way to describe how we feel about the generosity shown towards us! In the very beginning of our saving towards adoption we received an anonymous gift of 1,000 RMB with a note. That was just the beginning of the blessings. We have had students go out of their way for us, donations as presents from friends, and now on the first day of having our fundraising website up, we received a $500 donation AND a $100 donation!!

Earlier, I had shown David the website up and running with our "offline donation" of $898 (what we had already accumulated in our saving and fundraising) and he thought that much had been donated! Seeing it surprised him so much and I laughed at him, saying there was probably no chance of us receiving anything on the first day. We checked on it later, and David again thought there was a donation. So I checked it, and I found nothing there. We were tinkering around, and honestly, I was about to turn in, when I decided to check my computer. There was an email, it was from GoFundMe, so I opened it. It revealed a donation for $500!! It was from a dear couple we've known since we were kids. They were like family at certain points in our lives, and we were just so blown away.

We had to stop and just give praise to God. Our goal seemed like something so far away just a few hours ago. We had decided to trust Him and go ahead and just put up the website up. We weren't sure if we should do it yet, as we're far from our home study (at least months from beginning the process), and we thought people might take it the wrong way. We are very committed to this process. I've said it before, but just in case you were not reading at the start of the blog, just in case something goes wrong and we can't adopt for some reason, we will be donating all the money that has not been used towards other orphans that need it. Most likely it will go towards the orphans right here in our city in Dongguan, if it came down to that.

We're super excited about getting t-shirts made and hoping to get some people in the US to be our hands and feet for places we can't be in for now. If you're interested in donating time or energy to our adoption, let me know! We need someone in Cleveland, TN; Atlanta, GA; South Bend, IN; and possibly around Orlando, FL. Someone to make cookie jar mixes, and get quilt triangles and squares to people to sign. If there are other ways you would like to contribute (like bake sales, yard sales or a photography session) let me know! It would be such a blessing to us to have any kind of help!

We're so excited to move forward, and we may be able to start the process earlier than we thought if we can raise the money in time! Thanks again, friends! We appreciate it more than we could ever express in words! "...but put your hope in God who richly provides everything we need for our enjoyment." 1 Timothy 6:17b God really provided for us! We were afraid to hope, thinking that we were gambling with the future of our children by starting too early, but trusting in God is never a gamble. Trust is difficult, because we can't control the circumstances, and we don't have the power to do all of this on our own. We will trust and obey. Finally, thank-you to all of our friends financially and through encouragement along the way, and to those of you who have liked our blog or Facebook page and shared a link! We sure appreciate the exposure and support!

Blessings of Encouragement

This week has been a great one for David and me. We had Easter break so we had Monday off from school, and then I had a field trip with my class, and both shortened our school days considerably. Having so much free time has left a wide opening in our lives to research, think about and plan for our adoption. We’ve had a big jump in the people that are following us on Facebook and on this blog which is totally exciting, and just a little bit scary. We’ve had so many people asking questions about our adoption, but even more than that have felt totally supported! I have experienced students that have such kind hearts and their parents that stand behind them or are being the paradigm of examples of kindness.

Last week, I wrote about a lady who bought two jars of the cookie mixes at the VERY last minute of the Easter Brunch. On Wednesday I found out that she is a close friend of the family of my student Joon, whom I also tutor. She gave one of the jars she bought to Joon’s mom, who made them for a snack for him during tutoring. We shared the snack, and after tutoring Joon’s mom bought another jar of mix!  I was so blown away by the kindness of these sweet people; God must have orchestrated all this to encourage our hearts, and it definitely did! There was also another student who had bought the mix Saturday with his own money, then he brought the cookies into school to share with the other students! His mom showed me her bracelet, so proudly, and told me how it totally suits her! Man, I love my class! I love the students and the parents who raise them!

On a more logistic note, we think we have decided on the agency we would like to apply to; MLJ Adoptions, INC. They work with expats, they have experience with adopting from Bulgaria, they respond quickly, they have a great, detailed website, and overall didn’t make me feel bad for being young. The person who works with parents adopting from Bulgaria has a blog and has actually adopted herself! Her name is Lydia Tarr, which makes her feel like family! They told us we could start the process of applying 6 months in advance of me turning 25, but I don’t think we will apply until a little closer to the New Year (2015). That should give us time to get the money together for the home study, and hopefully money for after that. Once we get started on this process, things will start happening rapidly. Since we want to adopt a sibling group, and we’re open to ages 0-10 chances are we will have a referral pretty quickly (as I was informed by the agency I contacted). We’re looking at expenses anywhere from $27,000-34,000, most of which we will have to scrape together in a two year period, starting now. We’re starting to sell the cookie mixes, and I think the interest has been peaked for the foreign community. I have also begun selling some sketches and my hemp creations! Our adoption fund is up to almost $800!

Our next fundraiser is going to be… 

Drumroll please! 

One of the quilt squares - Choose a Color triangle if you want!

Quilt Squares! Ok… this is how it works: I have a bunch of quilt squares from fabric I bought and cut in the USA. Each triangle will cost $5, and you will be able to either write a message yourself, tell me what message you would like on it and I will make it for you, or choose to leave it blank. I will then use the squares to make two blankets for our children. I will also buy more fabric, up to the amount of fabric requested by you! I will make more blankets, and I will leave any extra blankets made at the orphanage when we go to meet/pick-up our kids! You get to help orphans all across the board! I’m so excited about this fundraiser! All you have to do to buy one is get to one of our Adoption representatives! 

Easter Fundraiser Pictures!

This was our cookie assembly line!

A set of cookie mix jars without labels yet.

 This is what the cookie dough looks like with all the ingredients! Yum!

 Stephanie W. being one of my best-est friends and helping label jars.

 David is helping cut out business cards he made with my 

phone number, WeChat, and blog information.

 The cookie jar chaos.

 A look at what the jars vs. the mixed bags look like.

 Our production table. Recognize the background of our cover page?

 Stephanie helping with labels.

 Stephanie and me working on labeling and such.

 We're having so much fun!

 We're so happy with the finished products!

David and I, ready to sell them all to the world!

David at our fully set-up booth!

The jar set-up. I seriously can't believe that frame was thrown away!

 The hemp-side of the table with the pricing and our story.

I'm already to start selling my crafts!

Oh, look! A minion visited our booth! 

David's reaction to the minion is not quite as excited as mine!

There it is again!

My sweet student dropped by with his sister and they each bought a hemp creation, and he spent his own money on a jar of cookie mix. His mom also ordered a bracelet! Then, they proceeded to give me bread they bought from another booth AND the first toy for our adopted children! 

Seriously trying not to cry!

She wanted to see what it looked like on, so I took a picture and showed her. This is Wind.

I'm hard at work making more hemp creations to sell.

This little boy wanted to show David the Easter Egg he painted! He was adorable!

Panoramic of the surrounding area.

The crowd that was around us in the Easter Brunch festivities. 

David is fanning himself because it is SO hot inside this room!

My cousin Melissa at her booth, you can see our booth all the way down at the end.

Melissa at her booth.

My student came and visited for a while!

Our booth at the end of the day. Not as organized as when we first arrived!

David is sneaking the cookie we had out as display! I caught him!

Still caught, my love.

Oh, ok. He was just posing!

Hope you enjoyed these pictures as much as I did!