It was a beautiful day, so let me start there. It was cloudy and overcast, but not with pollution as it is so often in our city of DG. We haven't had rain our entire rainy season, so seeing those clouds was a
happy occasion. We got up extra early and did a quick sweep through of our house. Put away bed mats (we were sleeping on the floor downstairs because the air-conditioning upstairs was broken), put on clothes that were carefully laid out the night before, do hair, make-up, run outside and walk the dog.
Once all the little things we knew we needed to do where done, we made sure everything looked nice one final time before heading out the door. We still needed to catch a taxi, a bus would not do on a day like today. Buses save money, but not time, and time is what we were needing to save. We flagged down a taxi much quicker than we were expecting and we were on our way to Dynatown Mall where we were going to meet up with Eric. Eric is high up in a factory about 20 minutes away from the downtown area. He has a personal driver and he had offered to let us use this luxury for today.We pulled up to the mall and paid the taxi driver. We got out, hoping Starbucks would be open at 6:30 am. In China, it doesn't open until 7:15, so we were out of luck. We went to McDonald's instead. I got what I everything that I can eat from McDonald's; eggs, a hash-brown and a coffee. David got whatever he wanted; an egg McMuffin, a biscuit and a milk. We also ordered food for our driver and Eric. They arrived soon after we got the food and we were heading over to Eric's factory in no time. Our driver needed to eat once we got to the factory, so he took 10 minutes to do that and we took a tour of the place. Eric's factory makes lamps for hotels. It was a really cool experience.
We got our GPS ready to go to Guangzhou airport and we were off. It took about an hour and a half to drive all the way there. We spent that time reading our adoption education book, "The Connected Child" and talking, all the while trying to keep ourselves from becoming over-anxious and over-stressed.
When we finally got there, we communicated (in horrible Chinese) to the driver that we wanted him to stay nearby and we would be back soon. We found the gate which our social worker would be arriving. We decided to scrawl her name on a piece of paper, just in case we didn't recognize her.
We took turns visiting the restroom and spent the time pacing back and forth still talking and joking, trying to ease the nerves.
Some people started filing around the exit corner and into the waiting area. An elderly couple, a family, lots of single Chinese people. Finally, the only person who was foreign enough to be her turned the airport exit corner. It was easier than we thought to recognize her, and we called out her name. We said hello and it all began.
We got in the car and drove back to Dongguan. Our nerves were quickly calmed as we began to just talk. At first we were still feeling the pressure to present ourselves in a positive light, but as we got to know her and she got to know us, we were much more comfortable. I offered her a snack I had packed which led to a conversation about nutrition. We talked for some time about the importance of nutrition when adopting. The fact that I had packed Gluten free pretzels, a Soyjoy and some water boded well for us! David even took the opportunity to brag on me for my dietary and nutrition expertise!
We talked about all kinds of things, but here are the big topics I remember; we talked about the level of support we felt we had from friends and family, our plans for discipline, how there could be issues with attachment after adoption, the special needs in a child that might arise with any international adoption, what we planned in terms of childcare, how we were planning financially, and so much more. We actually knew the answer to every question asked! We spent time talking in the car, in our living room and while eating lunch at a Chinese restaurant down the road from us.
She met Aubie and Luna and they were on their best behavior. She loved them! She said "I knew I would like you when I read about how your greatest accomplishment was saving your kitten." I felt a kind of kindred spirit thing going on with her. First on the topic of nutrition and now with animals!
She looked around at safety features in our house and pointed out some things we might improve on. The best thing she said all day was "I don't need to check every little safety feature, because I know you will love your children more than I do and will want to protect them more than I would."
Honestly, it made me feel capable.
There weren't many concerns for safety about our house, except the balconies. Our social worker suggested either getting some sort of lock for everywhere connecting to a balcony or these wire nets I often see around the community. David and I are looking into that now and we will see what we can find and afford. She gave us advise on the process, told us what it would entail to get official approval for the home study and offered help for certain parts of the process.
After that we took her out to get some stuffed toys for her kids, gave her a Kombucha scobi to take home with her, then drove back with her to the airport. By the time we got back home, we were exhausted. It was 7 or 8 at night and all we could do was feel proud and sit on the couch and watch tv until it was an acceptable time to go to bed.
Overall, it was a really good day. The best part about it was after all our talking she said, "I'm going to approve you for 2 kids up to age 7," which is exactly what we wanted to hear. Verbal approval. We were so excited!
Now what's next? We've been approved for two kids by our social worker, but we still have some paperwork to finish, send in, get approved, cleared and so on. We are currently sending in Child Abuse Clearance paperwork for SC and TN. David is also working on completing his adoption education so he can earn his certificate. After that our completed home study document will be sent in to the Central Authority in the US and hopefully approved without investigation (think IRS checking on validity of taxes, but with adoption paperwork). If they ask for proof of something we only have a short period of time to respond with the needed paperwork. If we fail to comply there are consequences, such as having to re-do the whole home study. We are praying that they will not ask for proof. By the time mail found its way to us, we would only have a few days to comply because of being in China and the reliability of mail here.
If we can sail smoothly through the home study approval, our next step is to attain all the paperwork we need for our dossier. If you want to know more about what is included in a dossier check out what our agency says here.
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